And since we’ve no place to go, let it snow let it snow let it snow

Locally we have a jeweler that hopes you are the type of costumer who likes to gamble. You see, if you buy jewelry as a holiday gift, and it snows on Christmas, your jewelry is free. So why not buy some jewelry, it might snow. Yeah, why not?

Clearly, this local retailer was great at manufacturing demand for his jewels. A novel concept, a gimmick, to get you into the store, spending your money on ice, hoping ice falls from the sky.

Maybe you like snow so much, you buy the jewelry in hopes it does snow. You got to be in it to win it.

Or, you turn your jammies inside out as a kid, hoping this would create a snow day, and you sleep in them all night, only to awake to find disappointment. You’ve spent your night dreaming of something special only to awake to discover your clothes are inside out and you still have to go through things you were hoping to avoid…sounds like a misspent night sleeping over at a college frat house party.

Snow is a fickle mistress, perhaps.

Case in point: the Beijing Weather Modification Office. Yes. The Chinese government is engaged in the immense task of weather modification. And by weather modification, I don’t mean turning your jammies inside out (well not literally, maybe figuratively). I mean shooting rockets into the skies, releasing chemicals that in turn get clouds to release their precipitate upon the earth below. Rain. And, yes, even snow.

You’re like, “yeah right. Good luck with that, Beijing Weather Modification Office. Pshaww…getting it to snow whenever you want…*eye roll*”

Apparently, they are getting a little too good at this. According to this article (ahttp://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2009-11/11/content_8946435.htm), the director of the municipal weather modification office says an Oct. 31 Beijing snowstorm was artificially induced, and dropped 16 million tons of snow on the city. Snow fell again Nov. 9, also believed to be a result of smart guys shooting rockets into the air.

And although snow can often be quite fun, it often can not. Shoveling, hazardous roads, Ugg boots. And, in the case of Beijing today, a complete meltdown of air and city traffic. As this article from China Daily put it: “Municipal transport authorities used more than 6,000 tons of thawing agent to clear the roads to ease congestion. The snow also caused a four-hour shutdown of the Beijing Capital International Airport, with nearly 200 flights cancelled.”
In my neck of the woods we are content to blame bad weather on our local meteorologist or Mother Nature. But in China, locals are getting used to blaming their weather modification office, aka the government. Sounds like great fodder for your university debate team’s big discussion about big government, huh.

Me personally, I’ve watched enough sci-fi movies to know you don’t fuck with Mother Nature. In fact you don’t even have to venture into the sci-fi genre, you just have to pick up some Jack London to know that.

But whatever. After I read this article (http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2006-06-29-china-rain_x.htm), I’m convinced the Beijing Weather Modification Office is too busy to spend their time watching sci-fi movies or reading Jack London. They are very busy indeed, as evidenced by previous projects of the office to make sure it didn’t rain during the Beijing Summer Olympics. Hey, why not. No one likes rain on race day.

When Mother Nature becomes the government’s bitch, it sounds like the apocalypse to me.